Multicultural Wedding Traditions

Written by Diamond Jones
Edited by Deborah Joy Block

This article is about wedding cultures and traditions in the United States that originate from 5 different religions: Judaism,  Catholicism, Hinduism, Islam and Budhism.

 Judaism was born in the Middle East. Originally there was just Orthodox but recently Reconstructionist, Reform, Conservative and Modern Orthodox evolved. Today, I will be talking about Orthodox Judaism. A bride has a mikvah which is known as a traditional bath, five days before her wedding. An important rule for the bride and groom, is to fast on their wedding day. However they are not allowed to socialize before their wedding day. The ketubah is a wedding contract that is signed by the groom, rabbi (the ordained teacher of Judaism), and the male attendants.

Then, the bride is escorted into the ceremony by her parents, and while the bride waits under the chuppah (a beautifully decorated canopy), the groom arrives at the chuppah. Once the groom arrives at the chuppah he walks around his bride seven times, and immediately stands to his right side. The ceremony proceeds, with the rabbi beginning the invocation, blessing a glass of wine, and the couple drinking from the glass of wine. However, the groom lifts the bride’s veil and then the rings are exchanged. The bride’s ring band is plain gold without engravings.

 Her ring symbolizes eternal, unchanging love and is usually placed on her right index finger. The bride usually uses her right index finger to read the Torah (the full Jewish Bible or all the Jewish teachings). Furthermore, the ketubah is read aloud and the designated guests read the Seven Blessings. The Seven Blessings are “the wedding blessings” that are read aloud, for the couple as a part of the wedding ceremony. At the end of the wedding ceremony, the groom steps on a wine glass, symbolizing the destruction of the Temple of Jerusalem.

Thereafter, the couple is separated from each other in separate rooms to gain privacy, this short period of seclusion, is known as yichud. The reception is celebrated, with men and women dancing separately. While the bride and groom dance, while holding onto the ends of a handkerchief. During the celebration, everybody does a line dance together, known as a Hora. Lastly, the wedding guests lifts the couple up onto two different chairs.

Catholic weddings are full of spirituality and rich symbolism and rituals. The weddings usually start with the first ritual which is Introductory Rites (opening prayers by the priests, announcing the couple and asking for God’s blessings among the couple). Then, the second ritual is Liturgy of the Word (when the family members read Biblical passages that are usually selected by the couple and pre-approved by the priest. After that, a short-sermon is recited about marriage by the priest.

The third ritual is the Rite of Marriage where the entire congregation stands as the couple takes their vows, so they may declare their commitment to each other. The fourth ritual is the Exchange of Rings (the best man gives the bride’s ring to the priest and the maid of honor gives the groom’s ring to the priest) and the rings are both blessed by the priest and handed over to the bride and groom to place on each other finger. The fifth ritual is the Mass (the priest asks for the “sign of peace” which means everybody must shake hands with whomever they are standing beside). The Mass is followed by a Holy Communion and ends with a prayer and nuptial blessing from the priest to ask for strength and protection for the couple. However, if there is no Mass included in the ceremony, then the “sign of peace” and the Holy Communion will not be performed. The last ritual is the Offertory (the placing of flowers on the shrine of the Blessed Virgin Mary by the bride) during the song “Ave Maria” at the end of the wedding ceremony.

Hindu traditional weddings consist of the Milai, (bringing the in-laws together), the Vivaha (the actual wedding ceremony), and the tamo (gold charm on a necklace gift for the bride). The bride’s hands and feet are painted with decorations in henna before the wedding. The Indian goddess Lakshmi is what the bride is personified as and the bride wears her best clothes and most attractive jewelry. Lakshmi is a goddess of wealth and prosperity, who is usually worshipped by her followers. Most Indian brides wear necklaces, bangles, anklets, toe-rings, nose-rings, and rings. Grooms wear a traditional Veshit, which is a three-piece suit and the bride wears a Sari.

Muslim weddingsinvolve three pre-wedding rituals, one of the rituals is the Salatul Ishtikara. The Salatul Ishtikara is an arranged marriage where the parents seek out the couple and make sure that they are matched within the same religious sect and communities. Once the couples have been chosen as compatible, the Imam (the worship leader) is chosen to perform a special prayer, so he may receive Allah’s permission to wed the couple and to ask Allah to bless the couple. After the prayer, the marriage is announced to the community.

After the Salatul Ishtikara, the Imam Zamin ritual is performed. This ritual signifies the formal acceptance of the bride into the groom’s family. The groom’s mother visits the bride’s home with a bag of gifts and sweets. She also carries a gold or silver coin, which is wrapped in a scarf that she ties around her future daughter-in-law’s wrists.

The last ritual is the Mangni, which is the engagement ceremony that is between the bride, groom, and their families. However, friends and relatives of the bride and groom gather together one day to witness the exchanging of the rings, of the bride and groom. During this ritual, the families shower each other with clothes, fruits, etc. This ceremony officially confirms the intention of marriage between the families. The bride and groom are now considered engaged in the community they are in.

Muslim wedding day rituals are performed, the first ritual is the Baraat. The bride’s family sends out a beautifully decorated car to bring the groom. They escort him on the way to the wedding venue. Then, the relatives and wedding party follows the car while the entire wedding party go to the wedding venue.

The wedding attire consists of the groom wearing churidaar pajamas combined with Sherwanis, with sandals. The color black is the only color restriction which represents the color of mourning to the Muslims. The grooms usually wear jewelry with the attire, these jewelries are gold neck chains, rings, and bracelets. Sometimes the groom wears a tuxedo with formal shoes to the wedding.

The bride’s wedding attire consists of the bride having only her face and hands visible to the public, while being fully covered. Salwar Kaweez, saree and Sharara are all popular choices for the bride’s attire. Green is the most popular color for the Muslim brides to wear. Necklaces, earrings, and bangles, are the most common jewelry worn by the brides. The bride must wear a nose ring on her right nostril, and it must be replaced with a nose pin after her wedding. A Tasa is usually attached to the left side of the bride’s hair for the wedding.

The second ritual is the Welcome, when the groom is met at the entrance when he arrives at the wedding venue by the bride’s family. He is offered a drink of sweet Sherbet, by his brother-in-law, while being welcomed into the venue. The relatives of the groom, receives a grand welcome also, while being sprayed with rose-water as they enter the venue.

The third ritual is the Nikah, which is the official wedding ceremony that is performed by a Maulvi (religious priest). In the ceremony, the men and women are seated in separate groups. The bride is presented by the groom’s family with Mehr, which is a certain amount of cash to receive permission to marry the bride. The Maulvi starts the Nikah proceeding by reciting a prayer. Then he asks the bride, permission to marry the groom by accepting the Mehr.

The Nikahnama (marriage contract) is signed, it outlines the duties and rites of the couple. The witnesses of the signing of the Nikahnama must include two observers from the bride and groom side of the family. This is followed by, the recital of the Khutba (religious discourse). Then, the Maulvi recites paragraphs from the Holy Quran, which are similar to the marriage vows. These vows, doesn’t have to be recited by the couple, but after the recital of the vows, duruds is performed, where the elderly people in the family, shower their blessings on the couple.

After the wedding, the Walimah (grand reception party) is held, where the bride and groom are held on a throne, where they meet and greet both families. It includes a grand feast with delicacies like Biryani, Meat Korma, etc. On the last day of the wedding, the newlywed couple visits the bride’s parents home, where the couple are treated with a nice lunch and given gifts, this is called a Chauthi In Buddhist weddings, the ceremonies are usually simple. 

A Buddhist wedding is more of a social event than a religious ceremony because marriage is not considered sacred in Buddhism. They also don’t have any rituals involved in them and the ceremonies are meant to signify the the companionship between the couple. The Buddhist marriages are based on spiritual faith and belief and it doesn’t focus on religion. At the weddings, the couples vow to keep their relationship spiritually sound and harmonious.

The couples do not have a particular religion or rules to follow for their wedding. A tradition that some Buddhist include in their wedding is to visit a lama (Buddhist priest) to choose if the couple is a match for each other to get married. The wedding ceremony, includes two parts, a Buddhist ceremony and a non-Buddhist ceremony. Non-Buddhist ceremonies consists of a feast or a gift exchange between the families. Prayers are also offered between the gods and monks of the Buddhist beliefs. This is followed by the couples taking a vow of faithfulness for each other and then the couple chooses the scriptures they will like to read and traditions that they will like to include in their ceremony.

During, one tradition, the bride and groom each walks down the aisle with a o juju (strand of 21 beads).. The o juju represents Buddha, the couple and their families. One night before the wedding, a traditional Buddhist wedding ceremony is held, in which the newlyweds pay their respect and tribute to the bride’s ancestors. Only nine monks are invited to the ceremony while the newlywed couple sits in front of the altar with a thread wrapped around their heads.

The monks usually unroll the thread into their hands, and the first monk sits beside a bowl of water with a candle lit inside of the bowl. The bowl of water, will be used as holy water for the next day for the wedding guests. Another monk, will hold a fan in one hand while holding a microphone in the other hand. The entire village may arrive outside at the ceremony to listen to the prayers that are being said in honor of the couple. After the prayers are said, the couple heads back inside of the temple to recite their vows.

In the morning, on the wedding day, the monks arrive at the temple to recite prayers and throw the holy water on the wedding guests. The couple arrives with a string circled around their head again and the monks have nine trays with dishes placed on them, sat immediately in front of them on the table. The couple eats after reciting the prayers. Once the prayers are recited, the newlyweds provide an envelope of money to all the monks, because the monks are forbidden from touching money.

The wedding attire comes with no rules, the bride must choose a gown that doesn’t reveal too much and the groom may wear a suit. The guests must remember to remove their shoes before walking in the shrine room to recite their blessings or prayers. The reception ceremony has plenty of music and dancing involved. The main dish that is served is pork and beef with a side of rice.

Launching Your Own Event Planning Business

by Diamond Jones

Running your own business is very rewarding and it provides anybody with self-motivation. Being your own boss means that you are in control of your own business aspects, and you can control your own way of doing things, with flexible hours. If you are confident and can own up to your own decisions, work independently, have strong decision-making skills, have the time-commitment to see things through from the beginning to the end, can remain focused on setting and achieving goals, can establish networks and business relationships, can work swiftly under pressure and stay focused while still having the passion for your career, you will be very successful in running your own business.

Launching your own business starts with an business plan which includes your business license, business name, location, type of facility required, business credentials, predicted staffing requirements and scope of service. Your business name should identify the types of services that are being offered. The type of facility required doesn’t have to be an office, boutique or studio, it could be as simple as having a room in a house or meeting at a coffee shop. Some planners may even go to the client's house to make the meeting more comfortable and convenient for the client. Your business credentials could be as simple as showing your membership status of a wedding organization that you have joined. Your business license is a fee paid to the local city jurisdiction. Certification is used to confirm that your business is safe with industry practices. Business liability insurance protects you if you are sued. Incorporating or forming an LLC protects you personally in the event you are sued. Your status as a sole proprietorship, partnership, LLC , Corporation, non profit needs legal consideration. The scope of service is determined by how specialized or generalized your services or product are.

It is common for many businesses to have a client care policy and service contract. The service contract summarizes the fee structure, product or services provided, the cancellation policy, the warranty and limitations of liability.  Some wedding and event planners choose to charge clients a flat fee while others charge 10%-25% of the total wedding budget. Either way  all expenses must be fully covered to utilize their services. It is helpful to get a pulse on the competition by knowing how many wedding and event planners are in your city and how many weddings are held in your city per year to provide an estimate of how many brides will be available for your wedding or event business. However, there are countless special events that have no statistics and there are countless opportunities so your challenge is to stand out from the crowd and market yourself effectively and think outside the box.

Some wedding seasons are slower than others due to seasonal changes and the location of the wedding. However, it doesn’t mean stop working, plenty of wedding and event planners use the off-seasons to prepare their business for the busy seasons. Special event tradeshowsl  are  a great way of launching your business, it is beneficial by helping the planners meet potential clients and network with vendors.  At a tradeshow, planners rent a booth and decorate the booth so that it will attract clients, vendors and occasionally the mediaHowever, some bridal shows are more expensive than others. If you attend and participate in a bridal show in a rustic area, it will be more affordable than attending and participating in a bridal show in a large metropolitan area.

When it comes to finding clients, it is great to have a preliminary marketing plan. Whether it’s signing up on social media (Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, YouTube, etc.) to market your new business, joining local charity events or creating a portfolio of pictures of your wedding or event. 

Marketing materials  are a must for  launching your own business. These marketing materials include business cards, brochures, envelopes, postcards, a website and more. It is great to have a wedding planning software to stay organized, keep your bridal timelines and to stay  on track of all your  clients. With vendor information stored, the wedding planning software may also be used as a reference for other clients who may also need to use the same vendors. Building a reputation is a way of showing that you are serious about your business, this is done by joining professional local business organizations which can be found by researching online. The quicker you start up your marketing and networking, the faster your business will be ready to launch.

Having insurance is also great when considering starting up a business. A lot of wedding and event planners also have a business plan for management, and planning. Contracts are also used in the wedding and event planning business to ensure the safety of the planner, vendors and clients. Many wedding and event planners are hired because they help the clients save money when it comes to negotiating with vendors. As an entrepreneur your goal is to get well known and inspire people to recommend you.

You also must know how to communicate with others, to successfully sell yourself. While communicating with someone, giving your full attention is critical.  Always remember to make a conversation memorable when trying to convince someone to hire you. As a planner it is best to stand out from your competitors by offeringservices, that others are not offering. You have to offer a service that a bride and groom want and need, based off your knowledge and your imagination.

 It is also important to give your wedding or event packages unique names that stand out, and itemize the services that are provided to your clients. Some wedding and event planners, may also have packages created for clients who already have their wedding planned, but need some guidance, these packages are mainly called “Day Of” services. The package that the wedding and event planner utilize to plan the wedding from start to finish, is known as a “Full Service” package. An emergency kit is also great to have for any special event, The emergency kit includes all items necessary to prepare for unexpected problems. This includes a first aid kit , sewing kit, bottles of water , snacks, pain medications, sunscreen and more. Your clients will be appreciative that you had the forethought to be prepared.  

While in the process of gaining relationships with vendors, it is valuable to first do research, once you finish researching and have a list of chosen vendors, it is important to call your top chosen vendors and decide which vendor is the best for your client and your services. Secondly, it is valuable to foster teamwork, by relaying information from your vendor to the clients. Your relationship with vendors need to be fostered. Thirdly, establishing a mutually beneficial relationship with vendors are useful so they will refer business to you.

Lastly, you want to follow up with your vendors to maintain a good relationship with them, after a wedding or event and show them appreciation for working with you and be sure to thank them and  add them to your preferred vendors list to work with you again in the future.

Being a planner, comes with a lot of responsibilities but it is a rewarding career especially if you are  prepared... Helping others by creating the event of their lifetime makes this career very fulfilling. Now it’s time to fulfill your client’s dreams of their big day!