Multicultural Wedding Traditions

Written by Diamond Jones
Edited by Deborah Joy Block

This article is about wedding cultures and traditions in the United States that originate from 5 different religions: Judaism,  Catholicism, Hinduism, Islam and Budhism.

 Judaism was born in the Middle East. Originally there was just Orthodox but recently Reconstructionist, Reform, Conservative and Modern Orthodox evolved. Today, I will be talking about Orthodox Judaism. A bride has a mikvah which is known as a traditional bath, five days before her wedding. An important rule for the bride and groom, is to fast on their wedding day. However they are not allowed to socialize before their wedding day. The ketubah is a wedding contract that is signed by the groom, rabbi (the ordained teacher of Judaism), and the male attendants.

Then, the bride is escorted into the ceremony by her parents, and while the bride waits under the chuppah (a beautifully decorated canopy), the groom arrives at the chuppah. Once the groom arrives at the chuppah he walks around his bride seven times, and immediately stands to his right side. The ceremony proceeds, with the rabbi beginning the invocation, blessing a glass of wine, and the couple drinking from the glass of wine. However, the groom lifts the bride’s veil and then the rings are exchanged. The bride’s ring band is plain gold without engravings.

 Her ring symbolizes eternal, unchanging love and is usually placed on her right index finger. The bride usually uses her right index finger to read the Torah (the full Jewish Bible or all the Jewish teachings). Furthermore, the ketubah is read aloud and the designated guests read the Seven Blessings. The Seven Blessings are “the wedding blessings” that are read aloud, for the couple as a part of the wedding ceremony. At the end of the wedding ceremony, the groom steps on a wine glass, symbolizing the destruction of the Temple of Jerusalem.

Thereafter, the couple is separated from each other in separate rooms to gain privacy, this short period of seclusion, is known as yichud. The reception is celebrated, with men and women dancing separately. While the bride and groom dance, while holding onto the ends of a handkerchief. During the celebration, everybody does a line dance together, known as a Hora. Lastly, the wedding guests lifts the couple up onto two different chairs.

Catholic weddings are full of spirituality and rich symbolism and rituals. The weddings usually start with the first ritual which is Introductory Rites (opening prayers by the priests, announcing the couple and asking for God’s blessings among the couple). Then, the second ritual is Liturgy of the Word (when the family members read Biblical passages that are usually selected by the couple and pre-approved by the priest. After that, a short-sermon is recited about marriage by the priest.

The third ritual is the Rite of Marriage where the entire congregation stands as the couple takes their vows, so they may declare their commitment to each other. The fourth ritual is the Exchange of Rings (the best man gives the bride’s ring to the priest and the maid of honor gives the groom’s ring to the priest) and the rings are both blessed by the priest and handed over to the bride and groom to place on each other finger. The fifth ritual is the Mass (the priest asks for the “sign of peace” which means everybody must shake hands with whomever they are standing beside). The Mass is followed by a Holy Communion and ends with a prayer and nuptial blessing from the priest to ask for strength and protection for the couple. However, if there is no Mass included in the ceremony, then the “sign of peace” and the Holy Communion will not be performed. The last ritual is the Offertory (the placing of flowers on the shrine of the Blessed Virgin Mary by the bride) during the song “Ave Maria” at the end of the wedding ceremony.

Hindu traditional weddings consist of the Milai, (bringing the in-laws together), the Vivaha (the actual wedding ceremony), and the tamo (gold charm on a necklace gift for the bride). The bride’s hands and feet are painted with decorations in henna before the wedding. The Indian goddess Lakshmi is what the bride is personified as and the bride wears her best clothes and most attractive jewelry. Lakshmi is a goddess of wealth and prosperity, who is usually worshipped by her followers. Most Indian brides wear necklaces, bangles, anklets, toe-rings, nose-rings, and rings. Grooms wear a traditional Veshit, which is a three-piece suit and the bride wears a Sari.

Muslim weddingsinvolve three pre-wedding rituals, one of the rituals is the Salatul Ishtikara. The Salatul Ishtikara is an arranged marriage where the parents seek out the couple and make sure that they are matched within the same religious sect and communities. Once the couples have been chosen as compatible, the Imam (the worship leader) is chosen to perform a special prayer, so he may receive Allah’s permission to wed the couple and to ask Allah to bless the couple. After the prayer, the marriage is announced to the community.

After the Salatul Ishtikara, the Imam Zamin ritual is performed. This ritual signifies the formal acceptance of the bride into the groom’s family. The groom’s mother visits the bride’s home with a bag of gifts and sweets. She also carries a gold or silver coin, which is wrapped in a scarf that she ties around her future daughter-in-law’s wrists.

The last ritual is the Mangni, which is the engagement ceremony that is between the bride, groom, and their families. However, friends and relatives of the bride and groom gather together one day to witness the exchanging of the rings, of the bride and groom. During this ritual, the families shower each other with clothes, fruits, etc. This ceremony officially confirms the intention of marriage between the families. The bride and groom are now considered engaged in the community they are in.

Muslim wedding day rituals are performed, the first ritual is the Baraat. The bride’s family sends out a beautifully decorated car to bring the groom. They escort him on the way to the wedding venue. Then, the relatives and wedding party follows the car while the entire wedding party go to the wedding venue.

The wedding attire consists of the groom wearing churidaar pajamas combined with Sherwanis, with sandals. The color black is the only color restriction which represents the color of mourning to the Muslims. The grooms usually wear jewelry with the attire, these jewelries are gold neck chains, rings, and bracelets. Sometimes the groom wears a tuxedo with formal shoes to the wedding.

The bride’s wedding attire consists of the bride having only her face and hands visible to the public, while being fully covered. Salwar Kaweez, saree and Sharara are all popular choices for the bride’s attire. Green is the most popular color for the Muslim brides to wear. Necklaces, earrings, and bangles, are the most common jewelry worn by the brides. The bride must wear a nose ring on her right nostril, and it must be replaced with a nose pin after her wedding. A Tasa is usually attached to the left side of the bride’s hair for the wedding.

The second ritual is the Welcome, when the groom is met at the entrance when he arrives at the wedding venue by the bride’s family. He is offered a drink of sweet Sherbet, by his brother-in-law, while being welcomed into the venue. The relatives of the groom, receives a grand welcome also, while being sprayed with rose-water as they enter the venue.

The third ritual is the Nikah, which is the official wedding ceremony that is performed by a Maulvi (religious priest). In the ceremony, the men and women are seated in separate groups. The bride is presented by the groom’s family with Mehr, which is a certain amount of cash to receive permission to marry the bride. The Maulvi starts the Nikah proceeding by reciting a prayer. Then he asks the bride, permission to marry the groom by accepting the Mehr.

The Nikahnama (marriage contract) is signed, it outlines the duties and rites of the couple. The witnesses of the signing of the Nikahnama must include two observers from the bride and groom side of the family. This is followed by, the recital of the Khutba (religious discourse). Then, the Maulvi recites paragraphs from the Holy Quran, which are similar to the marriage vows. These vows, doesn’t have to be recited by the couple, but after the recital of the vows, duruds is performed, where the elderly people in the family, shower their blessings on the couple.

After the wedding, the Walimah (grand reception party) is held, where the bride and groom are held on a throne, where they meet and greet both families. It includes a grand feast with delicacies like Biryani, Meat Korma, etc. On the last day of the wedding, the newlywed couple visits the bride’s parents home, where the couple are treated with a nice lunch and given gifts, this is called a Chauthi In Buddhist weddings, the ceremonies are usually simple. 

A Buddhist wedding is more of a social event than a religious ceremony because marriage is not considered sacred in Buddhism. They also don’t have any rituals involved in them and the ceremonies are meant to signify the the companionship between the couple. The Buddhist marriages are based on spiritual faith and belief and it doesn’t focus on religion. At the weddings, the couples vow to keep their relationship spiritually sound and harmonious.

The couples do not have a particular religion or rules to follow for their wedding. A tradition that some Buddhist include in their wedding is to visit a lama (Buddhist priest) to choose if the couple is a match for each other to get married. The wedding ceremony, includes two parts, a Buddhist ceremony and a non-Buddhist ceremony. Non-Buddhist ceremonies consists of a feast or a gift exchange between the families. Prayers are also offered between the gods and monks of the Buddhist beliefs. This is followed by the couples taking a vow of faithfulness for each other and then the couple chooses the scriptures they will like to read and traditions that they will like to include in their ceremony.

During, one tradition, the bride and groom each walks down the aisle with a o juju (strand of 21 beads).. The o juju represents Buddha, the couple and their families. One night before the wedding, a traditional Buddhist wedding ceremony is held, in which the newlyweds pay their respect and tribute to the bride’s ancestors. Only nine monks are invited to the ceremony while the newlywed couple sits in front of the altar with a thread wrapped around their heads.

The monks usually unroll the thread into their hands, and the first monk sits beside a bowl of water with a candle lit inside of the bowl. The bowl of water, will be used as holy water for the next day for the wedding guests. Another monk, will hold a fan in one hand while holding a microphone in the other hand. The entire village may arrive outside at the ceremony to listen to the prayers that are being said in honor of the couple. After the prayers are said, the couple heads back inside of the temple to recite their vows.

In the morning, on the wedding day, the monks arrive at the temple to recite prayers and throw the holy water on the wedding guests. The couple arrives with a string circled around their head again and the monks have nine trays with dishes placed on them, sat immediately in front of them on the table. The couple eats after reciting the prayers. Once the prayers are recited, the newlyweds provide an envelope of money to all the monks, because the monks are forbidden from touching money.

The wedding attire comes with no rules, the bride must choose a gown that doesn’t reveal too much and the groom may wear a suit. The guests must remember to remove their shoes before walking in the shrine room to recite their blessings or prayers. The reception ceremony has plenty of music and dancing involved. The main dish that is served is pork and beef with a side of rice.